Ask Weiss!
by Aegis-Story
Summary: The haughty, stuffy, snobby heiress, Weiss Schnee, is taking questions. Along with being a major shitlord to her teammates, friends, and everything in between. When a higher entity notices this, he begins to try and change ole' Weiss' attitude. Idea overhaul, still interactive, and given far much more thought. Do enjoy. Current arc: HeiressQuest
1. Chapter 1

**A month after the happenings of Volume 2...**

Weiss grunted in pain as she sat down on her bed after a long, arduous day of classes. Ruby's constant nagging had given her a most uncomfortable headache, and Yang's annoying laughter at her own stupid puns hadn't left the heiress in a good mood.

_Maybe I should shower?_

She pondered it briefly, quickly abandoning the idea when she remembered Yang coming out of the bathroom this morning with clean shaven legs. Weiss shuddered, knowing for a fact the blonde wouldn't have cleaned up after herself. Weiss wasn't about to go clean up such a disgusting mess for the sake of a shower.

With a most unlady like curse, the heiress threw her blazer onto her floor and grabbed her pale blue laptop, the Schnee logo implanted in the form of white lights on the back. She slumped down into her pillows and opened her blog, frowning at the lack of content in her ask box. Most days it was full, and she'd take her mind off of the antics of her fellow team members to answer questions with gusto and excitement.

Well, not always. Sometimes she got a perverted question, and retorted with threats only the heiress of Schnee Industries could make. Or she got a question that needed to be answered with another question, and sometimes the answer would shock her, or anger her, or even sadden her to great amounts.

She'd once gone to Ruby for counseling due to a strange question she'd been asked. It had left the heiress shaken and terrified for the life of her partner, Ruby, and while the heiress never let Ruby know, Weiss kept a much closer eye on the brunette afterwards.

Then there was a question involving Yang, and how Weiss felt about the insufferable moron being on the same team as her. Weiss' answer had been one word; No.

Her feelings towards faunus had changed, too, and she'd gotten quite a few questions regarding that subject. As Weiss had stated, faunus are just as much people as humans are. While her family may have given the impression that the Schnees thought differently, Weiss made it plain and clear that she stood beside her words.

And so Weiss wondered with cold, gripping fear, if her followers had run out of questions.

With a gasp, Weiss shut her laptop down and fled to the shower, no longer holding any qualms against cleaning the small albeit hairy mess in the drain.

Without any questions from her followers, Weiss was left to deal with answering her own questions, questions that drove her insane. Were her grades doing good? What about her friendship with Ruby; was she a good friend? Did Yang actually replace the shampoo in the shampoo bottle she was about to use with sour milk?

The questions were scary. Terrifying. Weiss was reminded, once again, just why she NEEDS to answer questions other than her own.

... Had Ruby's bed REALLY just fallen?

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><p><strong>Ask Weiss, the ALMOST reader influenced comedy! As Weiss deals with personal insecurities, the things her classmates and team do, and a secretly-not-so-secret crush, you guys can ask her questions! Once per chapter she'll sit down to read a few of the good ones, and depending on what they're about, they could influence how she acts in the chapter! <strong>

**Every once and awhile she'll ask a question herself, addressed to her 'followers', and the answers can affect her as well! **

**Weiss would also like to share that she really, really despises Ruby's bed. **


	2. Chapter 2

Weiss watched with disinterest as Yang and Ruby went about trying to salvage the beds. Blake was busy with her nose buried in some distasteful novel, no doubt containing a massive amount of… Lewdness.

In her hand Weiss held her scroll, all that she had left now. Her laptop was, no thanks to Ruby's bed, a heap of computer junk. "Dolt." Weiss muttered quietly, watching as Ruby tried and failed to move a headboard. The brunette hefted it up, began to walk backwards with it, stepped on her cloak, and… Well, the rest is history.

Yang instantly started laughing indecently loud, and on top of it all, she was snorting. Blake's more quiet chuckle could be faintly heard, if one tried hard to listen for it, and Weiss did. Ruby on the other hand was busy groaning in pain, and if Weiss hadn't been out the door and walking briskly down the hallway in irritation, she'd have smugly watched Ruby's suffering.

She made her way to JNPR's dorm, entering with no concern for what she'd find inside. It was a bit of a shock to her when she found no one; literally no one. It was empty, save for the lit up monitor at Jaune's end of the room. "Ah, yes, that boy is known to be a gamer. A waste of time, if I do say so myself."

As she closed the door behind her and pouted in self pity over the unfortunate people she'd been forced to deal with, an idea struck her. If no one was here, and Jaune had so carelessly left his computer running, it wouldn't hurt to check her blog, would it? It had been at least an hour; maybe by now someone had asked her a question!

She walked very carefully over the littered floor, tsk'ing to herself at their lack of cleanliness. Honestly, she expected more from someone of Pyrrha's calibur. With a defeated sigh, Weiss sat herself down in a shockingly comfortable computer chair, and placed her hand on the extremely fancy looking mouse. It had buttons; way too many buttons. So did his keyboard, for that matter.

"This is… Interesting." She mumbled, noticing just now the background on Jaune's desktop. It was Weiss. In the sky. With a Nevermore. Except, for some reason, Jaune was… Riding the Nevermore. "I have no recollection of this escapade." She stared wide eyed, wondering how on Remnant Jaune had ever rode a Nevermore in the first place.

With a dismissive shrug, she moved the cursor off of the Photoshop icon and to the DustyChrome one, double clicking the left button and opening a web page.

"... Alright. This is positively disturbing."

Before her was Beacon Book profile, specifically her's. Why the hell would this be Jaune's set page? Her profile picture was extremely beautiful, though, showing Weiss against a snow covered Forever Fall background. A glyph shown proudly behind her, bathing her in a glorious white light. Oh, she looked absolutely radiant!

With a dismissive shrug, she opened a new tab to the blog site ForevrFallr. She didn't even want to glance at anything on the page but the logout button, knowing for a fact Jaune was logged in. It would be a very traumatizing experience indeed to witness the contents it held.

With practiced fingers she typed in her login information, hitting the enter key and grinning in excitement. Oh, dust be praised, she'd been saved! Eighteen new, no doubt intelligent (and worthy of her time) questions!

"Ah, this is what I was made for! Social Media! Weiss Schnee, possibly the mo- What?"

Weiss had gone pale with horror.

_Do you use jizz in your hair? -KakReaper_

Her first thought was that she'd read it wrong. Upon further investigation, this proved to be wrong. "I… I… How do I… What?" Weiss stammered over her boiling anger, furiously clicking on the mouse button to submit a reply.

Blurred finger typed the following message: **I will skin you alive.**

Not very lady like, of course, but certain things needed to be approached differently. She'd have liked to approach this KakReaper's throat with Myrtenaster.

Taking in a shaky breath, Weiss moved on to another one. _I have a question what did you feel when Neptune ditched or what happened at the dance and two did you feel the love between you and Ruby? -Starya47_

"..."

Weiss ignored this, and continued._ I seem to have forgotten my scroll in my room and Pyrrha's gone for the holiday. Can I possibly hang out with you guys til Ren and Nora get back from the city? -Jaune_

"O-oh. So, that explains it. Wait, how did she get into the room… Oh well, a mystery for another day. She decided she'd think about it and carried on.

_How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood? -WarPig117_

**You're a damned fool.**

Weiss' reply was cruel, mean, and a perfect response for wasting her time. I mean, she'd just spent thirty minutes trying to correctly answer this question.

_And so she continued. If you feel like it. What prank would you pull on each of your friends(RBY, JNPR)? -areader88_

Weiss smiled nefariously, a new idea coming into her mind. Oh, her 'friends' were in for it! Weiss promptly thanked areader88 for the inspiring idea and carried on.

_Why do you not like Jaune? -StudiosReader_

Weiss thought about it. Oh, wait, no she didn't. _He's annoying, stupid, tries far too hard, and honestly, my (cute) pinky toe has more talent than he does!_

Weiss grumbled something about degenerates under her breath and carried on. After she skipped the question regarding Jaune that came right after.

_If you were to give advice to someone who is developing a weapon for themselves, when it comes to their Huntsman career obviously, what would it be? -True Son Of Skyrim_

Weiss wiggled her very cute little bum with anticipation, going about answering this question with gusto. **Well, you see, first off, you should decide at a young age what kind of fighter you'll be. I also find it has a lot to do with your personality; take Myrtenaster, for example. Its graceful, elegant, a beauty to behold. And then you have something like, say, Milo. Its sharp, quick, and also a nice sight. Although its very loud, too. I mean, did Pyrrha really have to go so fa- Uh, right. I hope that helps. And please, do not ever decide on something as simple as a sword and shield. Actually, scratch that. Corden's(?) mace is even more useless.**

"Very intelligent of you, Weiss." She complimented herself, going on to her next question.

_To weiss: how do you feel about ruby having a bigger bust size than you, despite her being 2 years younger? -Guest_

"Well of course its to me!" She cried out loud, partly because she thought the question started off stating the obvious (which it did) and partly because the question awoke more feelings of self discontentment that she tried oh so hard to not harbor.

**Ruby's breasts are a… I mean… They're fine for her body si-... Dear Guest, I don't feel like answering this question.**

Weiss ignored the dash of red on her cheeks, continuing to her next question. _So, Snow Angel, doing anything over break? Something that might involve two people...maybe require a big strong huntsman? Just saying...I may know a guy. Let me know._

_Someone looking out for you_

_PS: I'm a real good dancer… -Guest_

**No.**

Weiss huffed, continuing to the next one. _So, there's this game on ForevrFallr that a third year made. Kinda dark if you ask me, but I'm addicted to it. You just enter your Team and your friends in and the story goes from there. Worth taking a look at. It's called The Quest: Escape From Beacon. Enjoy_

_-Rat Finck, Team TRPR_

Weiss thought about it for a moment. It sounded interesting enough; ForevrFallr did have some entertaining things on it, and Quest series were one of her secret dirty pleasures.

**I appreciate you bring it to my attention. I'll be sure to take a look.**

Weiss then continued on. _So, Snow Angel, doing anything fun for the holiday break? Need a big strong knight to keep you warm? Just saying...I may know someone..._

_Someone just looking out for you. -Guest_

**No.**

Weiss decided that she'd have to download a virus for Jaune as she continued on to another question.

_-Is there any type(s) of Dust you particularly favor?_

_-Has your opinion about Jaune changed any since he sorta helped you with Neptune at the Beacon Ball? (if so, how?)_

_-Between you and Yang, how often do you girls make puns? (I love puns)_

_-Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most fiendish of them all?_

_-Do you want to build a snowman? -roukaryu_

**Red. Slightly; he may not be a bad person, but I do not harbor any romantic feelings towards him as of this moment. Probably not ever. Also, despite my hatred for that damned blonde… Quite a lot. Ruby. No, go stick an icicle up your ass.**

Weiss had to admit that maybe the response to that last question was a little… Rude, but she was SO sick of that damn joke!

With a very cross attitude towards the more or less stupid questions she'd been asked this time around, Weiss continued to the next one.

_Hello, Weiss! Just writing you to let you know that Grimm are not made of cookies. Ruby can stop dreaming about Grimm cookies attacking her in her dreams now._

_-Lazy Eyes Conway, Dream Warden._

**Thanks for the info. I'll be certain to get it across to her.**

Weiss shook her head, wondering who the hell was listening in on her and Ruby's private conversations. She then continued.

_why do you hate ruby's bed, if you always wanted bunk beds? -ODST110_

"... How did he…"

**I don't HATE bunkbeds. Just Ruby's in particular.**

A very befuddled and disturbed Weiss continued on to her next question. _Did you do Oobleck's assignment yet, and if so, could a certain totally awesome red cape wearer borrow it? I kinda forgot to do it last night._

_-Totally not Ruby_

**You're a dolt. 'Totally not Ruby', if you'll meet me at the library tomorrow morning, I may be able to help you.**

Weiss sighed at the helpless team leader. With hope for a last and satisfying question, Weiss continued on.

_You may not want to use the shower. I may have tampered with a few things to get back at a certain Faunus. Would hate for my work to go to waste on the wrong person._

_-Yang_

With that, Weiss fled from the dorm, leaving the computer chair spinning in her wake.

"YAAAAAAAANG!"

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><p><strong>Wow. I have to say, the support this got was awesome. I'd like to thank everyone who asked a question, and anyone who does afterwards, whether they be new askers or old ones!<strong>

**Weiss would also like to state that she hates Yang. **

**A lot.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright. So, guess what? Ask Weiss! just got much more... Thought out? Yeah, thats the word for it. By the way, this chapter doesn't have any questions answered in it. Plot reasons. (What a joke, considering...) However, you guys should like it. I hope.**

"How ya doin'?" Yang asked with a sheepish smile, tentatively reaching out to touch the fuming heiress.

"No, no, no, don't touch me!" She hissed, swatting Yang's hand away. Bent over the side of her bathtub, she slaved over her hair, rinsing it over and over with scalding water. "You did this, you nasty, horrible, unbelievably inconsiderate twit!"

Yang let her hands hang loosely at her sides, an amused expression on her face. Her intended target had been revealed to have been Blake, but apparently she wasn't too upset about Weiss getting hit instead.

"Yang, you're so mean to Weissy!" Ruby cried, sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her hand on Weiss' back. "You could have warned her, or something. What if it was me who'd taken the shower? Huh?"

"H-hey! I did warn her, on that stupid blog thing!" Yang protested, throwing her hands up in front of herself defensively.

"... O-oh." Ruby fell silent, rubbing slow circles on the small of Weiss' back. "I guess that counts… Does it count, Weiss?"

"Of course not!" Weiss snapped back, twisting her long length of wet hair in her hands. "I got a shower before I saw it, meaning it doesn't count!"

"Yeah! W-what she said!" Ruby huffed at Yang, before turning her voice into a hushed whisper as my mumbled nonsensical reassurances to Weiss.

Yang shrugged, stepping out of the bathroom to leave the two alone. Weiss sighed angrily when she heard the door click shut. "That insufferable brute is going to get it someday…"

Ruby giggled, and Weiss shot her an accusing glare. "Sorry, I was just thinking of what that stuff could have been!"

Weiss blanched at the thought of Ruby's innocent mind, or supposedly innocent mind, coming up with the ideas that Weiss herself had had. "And what 'stuff' do you think it was?"

Ruby looked around the bathroom, as if to make sure no one was there. After being absolutely sure, she leaned in close to Weiss' ear. "I think it may have been Buckleys." She whispered, sounding grave and dead serious.

"I… Uh, sure, Ruby. Thats a… Good idea, I guess." Weiss motioned for Ruby to move out of the way as she pulled her head out of the steam cloud she'd had it in. "Dust, my hair still doesn't feel right…"

"Eh. It'll be fine, Weiss. Just do what Blake said, and, uh… Whats the word she used?"

"Ruby, please do-"

"Oh, right! Wank it! Wank it a lot, and it should all come out nice and easy!"

"Ruby!" Weiss cried indignantly, grabbing her towel from the sink and using it to dry her head, glaring furiously at her 'partner'. "The three of you need to grow up and stop being so stupid, lewd, and positively purposefully annoying!"

Ruby shrank under Weiss' insults, her eyes growing wide, her bottom lip jutting outwards and quivering slightly, and an almost indiscernible whine reaching Weiss' delicate ears.

"Oh, dust, Ruby, don't get like that…"

The whine grew louder, and the eyes wider and glossier.

"A-alright, maybe I was a little harsh including you… But I can justify saying that about Yang and Blake!" Weiss humphed, turning away from that awfully powerful puppy-dog stare.

"I guess… Weiss, what did Blake mean by wank, anyways? It sounds like a weird word."

"Nothing, Ruby." Weiss replied quietly, vigorously rubbing her hair dry with the towel. The friction of it on her hair, pulling on the long, ivory strands made her sensitive scalp hurt.

"Alright." Ruby now paying attention to the uncomfortable scowl on Weiss' face. "Hey, Weissy, I got an idea. Lemme see that towel!"

"Huh? Wh- Ruby! What in dust are you… Ruby, stop, ow, ow, ow!" Weiss cried as Ruby snatched the towel, grabbed Weiss in a headlock and began to rub Weiss' hair dry, her style. This included using her semblance. Apparently it didn't just make her run faster.

"Weiss! St- stay still, will you! Gaaaaaaaaht dag-nabits!" Ruby cried, desperately clinging to the heiress as she thrashed around, her hands trying to pry the towel from Ruby's fingers.

"Ruby, I'm going to seriously hurt you!" Weiss shouted, running at the door with Ruby still clinging to her. "Get! Off! Of! Me!" She demanded, pounding on the door with a fist. "Help! Blake, Yang, heeeeeeelp!"

"Weiss, hush! Just let it happeeeeeeen!" Ruby told her, and Weiss had to make a double take.

Had Ruby just told her to… Hush? "Ruby, you didn't! You better not have! If you did, I'm going to break every bone in your bo-" The door suddenly opened, and Weiss dove for it, cutting herself off. The two tumbled to the floor, Ruby finally losing her hold on Weiss, who scrambled away, her eyes wide with fright, resembling a rabbit who'd just escaped death.

"Weiss…?" Yang asked carefully, giving her a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

"S-she t-tried to k-k-kill me…!" Weiss stammered, pointing accusingly at the brunette, who was sitting innocently on the floor.

"I didn't! I made your hair dry, and stuff!"

"You tried to kill me!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Weiss, thats mean!"

"You're mean!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Yang interjected, stepping in between them. "Looks like we have a case of the 'overreactions' here, Blakey! Care to help me take care of them?" The blonde asked, shooting the cat faunus a sly look, a sparkle in her eyes.

Blake nodded from her bed, setting the book she'd been reading face down on her pillow.

"What are you guys doing…?" Weiss questioned warily, and Yang gave her a sweet smile. So sweet it hurt, actually.

"Nothing too drastic! But you two need to be cured, before you spread this nasty disease!"

"D-disease?!" Ruby echoed, sounding terrified. Weiss winced, always fearful of that voice. It stung her, and just about everyone else, too, when Ruby sounded scared.

"Not a bad one, Ruby." Blake assured her quietly. Weiss stared at Yang, who pointed at Weiss and Ruby's shared bunk bed. Apparently getting new ones hadn't taken too long, and they'd been set up while the heiress had- hopefully- cleaned her hair.

"Alright, you two! Over to Weiss' bed, now!" Yang ordered, sounding shockingly stern.

"W-what? Shouldn't we be going to the nurse?" Ruby asked, a slight waver her in her voice.

"Nah, its an easy treatment." Yang told her, motioning for Blake to help the young leader off the ground. The faunus escorted her to Weiss' bed, and promptly set her down on the matress.

"Now, Ruby, you gotta crawl in under the blankets and stay warm. If you get too cold, you'll spread the disease." Blake told her seriously. "It is of utmost importance that you do so."

The brunette nodded with a loud gulp, kicking off her boots and scrambling underneath the all new white sheets and bright blue blankets. "Like this?"

"Yes, like that." Blake told her, giving her a small smile. "Just stay underneath those, and you'll be fine."

"A-alright…" Ruby muttered, wiggling and making herself comfier.

"Just what is this disease, again?" Weiss asked suspiciously, glaring at the grinning blonde.

"Ah, its uh… Bribeitus?"

"What?"

"Yeah. So, uh, Weiss, you gotta get in the bed too. Same rules." Yang told her. Weiss stared at her incredulously.

"Are you serious?! You could not pay me enough!"

"People could die, Weiss!" Yang cried, and the heiress looked to Blake for confirmation, and the faunus nodded solemnly.

"But I…"

"Weiss. Think about all those poor, innocent souls. Its up to you to save them. All you gotta do is crawl into bed with Ruby." Yang's voice rose suspiciously high, but the heiress didn't really notice.

"Alright, then. I'll do it, but only because I don't want anyone hurt… Question, though. How do you know we have a disease?"

"Uh… Blake, tell them."

The faunus' ears fell flat to her head. "Well, we have suspected it for quite some time… Right, Yang?"

"Right!" The blonde hastily agreed. "And after Ruby tried to kill you, it confirmed everything!"

"But I didn't try to-"

"Hush, Ruby! Don't be silly. You tried to kill Weiss. The only way to cure it is this. Now, Weiss, in to bed like a good little heiress!" Yang ordered her, and she complied with huff. She stepped out of her boots, climbed into bed beside Ruby, and turned her back to the brunette.

"How long do I need to stay here?" Weiss immediately asked, and Blake gave her an apologetic frown.

"At least twenty four hours. I'm sorry, but thats how it will have to be."

"T-twenty four hours? W-with Weiss? In a bed… Her… Bed?" Ruby asked, her eyes peeking out from behind Weiss' head.

"Yes." Yang answered. It was final, leaving no room for anymore questions. Ruby nodded, swallowed, and slunk down into the pillows. Weiss sighed, glaring down at her own hands. She couldn't deny that she felt embarrassed, and Ruby's annoying nervous kicking was bugging at her already.

Twenty four hours.

"I honestly hate you all." She muttered to herself, quietly enough that Blake and Yang couldn't hear her.

Ruby did, however, and a sad sigh escaped her.

Oh, this was going to be a fun night.

I watched from a high place, far in the heavens, and couldn't help but feel vexed. Sure, Weiss was my favourite… But she was being quite the shitlord, what with making adorable ole' Ruby feel bad like that.

I cracked my knuckles, deciding I'd have to do something about it. My mind was already set on a wonderful idea, suggested by another respectful being up here in the sky. Yes, this would work well. At least to set her on the right path.

Heiressquest was about to become a thing.

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><p><span><em><strong>ENTER THE HEIRESSQUEST ARC:<strong>___**Inspired by the great suggestion of user Fuji26104! **


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